Dear Diary
by CelticAngelWings
Summary: Sometimes you don't see something until its right in your face. And doesn't that make me the silliest person alive? To want something I've had all along. AUish Vikturi.


**Dear Diary**

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _He was a foreign exchange student from Russia, and he lived alone in a big old empty house across the street from my own._

 _He was my best friend. Although we were apart by four years, I still considered him to be my number one._

 _He supported me in everything I did. I wanted to be just like him. Smart…athletic…handsome…funny…mesmerizing. Okay—maybe not all that, but definitely smart and athletic, and a bit good looking. (I could never be mesmerizing like him.)_

 _I've known him for forever it feels like._

 _But I didn't know I'd gotten too close until that one time…that one time…I followed my gut and did something that changed everything._

* * *

It started off as a day like any other.

With Yuri commuting home on the evening bus from university and greeting his mother with a bright smile, before dashing down the hall to his bedroom and pulling out his cell phone to call Viktor and chat his ear off about anything and everything he could think of.

"Hello, Viktor?"

"….Yuuuri…." Viktor groaned into the receiver, "Do you realize what time it is?"

Yuri glanced at his digital alarm clock which read 7:30PM, and then at the calendar hanging on his wall marked with big red letters dictating Viktor's work schedule hours, before grimacing and saying contritely into the phone, "My bad…I forgot you had work last night, err…this morning…"

Viktor laughed softly and mumbled, "Don't mind. I always make time for my little katsudon."

Yuri blushed hotly, "Don't call me that!"

"Why ever not? It is still your favorite, right? And you're my favorite, so it fits."

"How can you say such embarrassing things out loud?"

Yuri could hear the shrug in Viktor's voice, "I'm never embarrassed about anything to do with you."

Yuri shook his head and smiled gently. "That's sweet. Are you awake now or should I call back later?"

Viktor yawned and Yuri could hear the bed sheets rustling over the line.

"I'm awake." He said, stretching. "Instead of staying on the phone though, why don't you come over? I'd like to see your face."

Yuri blushed again for no particular reason, or so he told himself.

"S-Sure, I can be over in five."

"Make it two." Victor mumbled deeply, his voice vibrating in the speaker.

Yuri's ears were burning now, and he didn't say another word before closing the line out and rushing about changing his shirt and pants, before hurrying out of his bedroom and back down the hallway past the kitchen to the entryway.

"Where are you going, Yuri? Dinner's almost ready." Hiroko Katsuki, Yuri's mother, called after him as he made for the front door.

"Um…I'm going over to Viktor's for a bit. Can you keep my food warm, I don't know how soon I'll be back."

"Oh dear, why didn't you say so earlier? I could've made takeaway plates for the both of you had I known. You want to wait a few minutes for me to dish it out so you can both eat together?"

Yuri ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip impatiently. Viktor loved his mother's cooking, so surely he wouldn't mind him being a little later than he'd been expecting.

"I guess I can wait a moment…" Yuri said slowly.

"Wonderful! Just hold your horses; I'll have you ready in a jiff." Hiroko bustled about getting dinner ready for her two precious boys and wondered whether or not she should insist on Yuri bringing Viktor to their house instead, for a family dinner.

"We mustn't press these things." Hiroko mumbled under her breath as she finished dishing out both Yuri and Victor's plates, and handed them over to Yuri, whose foot was tapping repetitively on the linoleum floor.

"Have fun sweetie." Hiroko smiled, as Yuri thanked her and practically ran out the front door and across the street.

* * *

Yuri stood on Viktor's front porch, panting with his glasses slipping down his nose, as he rang the doorbell nervously.

After about three heartbeats, Viktor flung the door open, wearing a manly pout on his face, and being dressed only in a midnight blue robe with what looked to be nothing on underneath.

Yuri's eyes were drawn straight to the man's chest, and he couldn't help the way his mouth went dry and fell open slightly while his eyes drank in the sight of muscles straining beneath a thin veneer of cloth and pale skin.

"You're late." Viktor griped.

"Sorry, I brought dinner!" Yuri closed his eyes and shoved the plates into Viktor's surprised face. "Oh, Hiroko cooked? Vksuno! Come in come in!"

Viktor ushered Yuri quickly into the house and into the dining room, which was sparsely furnished with only a sturdy table with two cushioned chairs, and a clear faced cabinet against the wall with glassware on the inside.

Yuri sat the plates on the table and uncovered them both before trailing Viktor into the kitchen to wash his hands and procure silverware and drinks.

Viktor was reaching into one of the high cabinets above the stove to get two wine glasses down, and in the process, his robe was falling open and off one of his broad shoulders, leaving much of his skin on display for Yuri's wandering gaze.

Shaking himself out of a stupor, Yuri moseyed over to the sink and turned the water on, focusing extra hard on washing his hands and not thinking about Viktor's state of dress more than necessary.

"Inside outside, inside outside…" he began to chant under his breath, unaware that Viktor was now standing right behind him, until two arms encircled his waist and a chin dropped down onto his right shoulder.

Yuri jumped, startled, and stood with both hands full of suds and the water running purposelessly in front of him.

His mind was blank.

"V-Viktor?"

"Hmm…?" The other purred against his neck, his breath warm against Yuri's pinking skin.

"I need to wash my hands."

"By all means, do so." Viktor smirked and tightened his arms around Yuri's waist.

Yuri inhaled shakily and quickly rinsed his hands.

Viktor then reached out with one hand and passed him the dry towel, which had been hanging to the side of the sink, and Yuri thanked him while drying his hands.

"What's got you so clingy this evening?" Yuri asked softly, aware that his heart was beating a mile a minute with Viktor in such close proximity.

"I've missed you. This is the first time we've seen each other all week." Viktor mumbled into his neck.

Yuri shivered and whispered, "It's only Tuesday."

"I know that. I haven't seen you since Sunday, and I had work all yesterday and this morning. I'm beat and deprived."

"If you keep this up, the food is gonna get cold." Yuri placed his hands on top of Viktor's own around his waist, and rubbed at them to convince the other to loosen his grip to no avail.

"It'll keep." Viktor insisted, and then he spun Yuri around so they were face to face, with the other staring up at him.

Viktor's eyes were unreadable, and a smile stretched his lips ever so slightly. He was being serious.

"Now Yuri, tell me, haven't you missed me even the least bit?"

Yuri thought they hadn't been apart long enough for that, but he didn't say this to Viktor. Instead he laughed breathlessly and asked, "Do you just wanna hear me say it?"

Viktor nodded and his bangs overshadowed his face, giving it an ominous look.

"Alright then, yes. I missed you. For however long we were apart, I missed you. I always do."

Yuri blushed deeply and averted his eyes to the floor.

Viktor grasped his chin and tilted his head back up, and Yuri could tell the other was pleased. Extremely pleased to hear that.

"What a pair we make, Yuri. I'm going to have to kidnap you soon if this keeps up."

Yuri's eye widened and he pushed frantically at Viktor's chest, finally managing a bit of space as a low growl permeated the air, cutting the tension like a knife.

"Err…I think that was you, Viktor."

"Hah, I must be hungry." Viktor grinned broadly.

Yuri rolled his eyes and said, "Then let's eat already, you big softie."

Viktor released Yuri at last and pulled him by the hand over to dining room table.

Stating confidently, "After this, we're going to watch a movie. And then braid each other's hair and talk about our dreams and expectations until you fall asleep and forget you don't live here."

"Don't worry; I'll call Hiroko for you." Viktor winked and pulled out the chair for Yuri, as the other shook his head in fond exasperation and plopped down into his seat.

Viktor sat down opposite Yuri and dug into his food with relish. "Mmmm…Vkusno. We should get married, Yuri!" Viktor suddenly declared, "Then I'll be son-in-law and we'll eat like this every day for the rest of our lives."

"Whatever you want, Viktor." Yuri said offhandedly. Not really listening anymore at the other as he began to eat. Viktor proposed to him almost weekly, so he couldn't actually mean anything by it.

Yuri felt a little something sink in his chest, and he cleared his throat repeatedly around a developing lump in his throat.

What was wrong with him today?

Viktor had gone quiet by now and Yuri didn't notice the other staring at him with a decidedly bittersweet smile on his face.

* * *

After dinner, Viktor cleared the dishes away and Yuri washed them up in the sink.

They'd both gone unnaturally silent after Viktor's mealtime declaration, and Yuri felt a bit silly for being so awkward now, when it was always like that between them.

Everything was ambiguous. They just got on like that.

Viktor was a touchy-feely kind of guy. And Yuri would never deny the other affection. He'd never even dream of shrugging his hands away when they reached out for him with growing frequency and intensity.

There was just something there that Yuri would loathe to see disappear; an intimacy that he couldn't put a name to or do without.

"So what are we gonna watch tonight?" Yuri asked a bit too loudly in the quiet of the room.

Viktor seemed to perk up as he replied. "_insert creepy horror movie_"

Yuri blanched. "Does it have to be that?"

Viktor grinned, "But you love horror movies."

"Since when?!"

"Since you'd curl up with me beneath the sheets every time you slept over after we watched one, and you wouldn't let me turn out the lights because you wanted to stay up talking all night long, and you'd be practically shaking with happiness the whole time."

Yuri's eye twitched and he resisted the urge to throw something at Viktor's beaming face.

"Fine…" He groaned.

He'd just have to keep his eyes closed the whole time and think happy thoughts.

* * *

They sat pressed together side by side on the couch in front of the big screen TV in the living room.

Viktor had dimmed the lights and rested a hand on Yuri's knee as the movie started up.

Yuri flinched as the opening scene rolled, and he proceeded to close his eyes and look away from the TV as Viktor rubbed his knee soothingly and whispered into his ear, "Don't be scared. I'm right here."

Yuri flushed and leaned further against Viktor's side.

Viktor smiled widely, almost diabolically.

A frightened Yuri was a needy Yuri.

And who else would be there to fight the demons away but Viktor?

* * *

Later on that night after the movie was over Yuri stood at the living room window, staring out into the darkness of their street, and he gulped.

Viktor had left his side to go to the bathroom, and even though Yuri had looked away for the most part, he could still remember harrowing bits of the movie they'd seen.

He really didn't have the guts to walk home. (Even if it was only right across the street.)

It looked like he really would be staying the night after all.

"He planned this. He must have." Yuri muttered under his breath.

But oddly enough, he wasn't upset. No. His heart was racing, but it wasn't due to anger or even embarrassment. He felt…excited.

"Why would I be excited? This isn't the first time I've stayed over. It's not even the second!"

Yuri rubbed at his chest and ruffled his hair frantically.

It was hot. Too fricken hot in this house.

"Yuri, I put your toothbrush back in the holder and laid out some fresh towels. If you like we can take a shower together before bed…—" Victor trailed off as he walked back into the room to find Yuri sweating and staring back at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Um-eh-ah—sounds like a plan, yeah, I'll just be going upstairs now." Yuri muttered quickly and practically ran past Victor and upstairs to the second floor bathroom.

Viktor raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to a side.

Did Yuri just agree to—

Viktor's face reddened and his eyes got big before he straightened his robe out and quickstepped his way up the stairs, hot on Yuri's trail.

Whatever'd gotten into the young man this evening, he wasn't going to question it or his good fortune.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, mother always said." Viktor licked his lips and rushed to the bathroom.

* * *

Yuri stood in front of the bathroom mirror in his undershirt and boxers, completely spacing out.

What the hell was going on with him now? How was he going to explain to Viktor why he'd run out of the room so fast without so much as a by-your-leave.

Like he was scared of something not that stupid movie they'd just finished watching.

Like he was scared of…Viktor.

Suddenly, the bathroom door flung open against the wall, and there Viktor stood, breathing heavily, robe disheveled with a wild look in his eyes.

"Eh?"

Yuri blinked rapidly and backed up against the wall as Viktor advanced.

"EEK! What're you doing up here Viktor, I'm in the bathroom! GET OUT!"

"You practically invited me up here, Yuri." Viktor deadpanned.

"When did I—…." Yuri backtracked quickly and his face reddened to the point of a tomato and he frantically stuttered, "Y-you know g-good and well I didn't really mean for you to come up here!"

Viktor frowned fiercely and pinned Yuri to the wall with an arm on either side of his head.

Yuri just barely resisted the urge to slide down to the floor and avert his eyes. Instead, he held Viktor's gaze shakily and found himself staring at other's mouth with no small amount of fascination as those lips moved quickly around words hardly managing to register in his overstimulated brain.

"There should be a limit to your cruelty when it comes to me and what I'd like to be doing to you right now, Yuri."

"What you'd like to be—…."

"I mean, I know I've been pretty subtle all these years and every time we've been together, but I don't know how much longer I can take this lukewarm attitude you have with me…"

"Lukewarm—when have I ever been—…"

"Yuri. I like you."

"I like you too Viktor, but what does that have to do with…."

Yuri trailed off with a slight frown marring his features as realization slowly dawned on his face.

Viktor…likes…me?

Yuri stared up into earnest cerulean blue eyes with a cocktail of emotions swirling in his own brown depths.

He then swallowed thickly and clenched his hands at his sides.

"Viktor…I…"

Yuri couldn't get the words out. They were stuck in his throat.

He worked his mouth open and closed around them but couldn't manage a sound.

Viktor smiled sadly and slowly began to back away.

"It's alright, Yuri. I'm not going to force myself on you. I just thought you should know…I mean, really know."

Yuri took in a sharp breath as Viktor's hands came down from the wall, and the other man bowed his head slightly, causing his hair to hide those beautiful eyes Yuri could never lie to.

He was saying something else that Yuri couldn't hear behind the roaring sound in his ears.

And now…Yuri's head was getting dizzy.

And now…his heart was trying to break out of his chest.

And now…he was reaching out.

And now…he was grabbing Viktor by the robe.

And then, he was standing on his tip toes.

And then, he was closing his eyes.

And then…he was pressing his lips against those lips that had finally stopped moving long enough to catch his own.

Viktor's eyes were wide open and they fell slowly shut as his arms came up again to encircle Yuri's waist and pull the other fully against him.

It was perfection.

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _He is my best friend._

 _I've loved him for what feels like forever._

 _I never expected the lines to finally disappear between us, but I suppose it wasn't really a shock when they did._

 _They were always blurry at best._

 _I couldn't tell him how I felt, because I've never been good with words. And I was afraid of feeling what I was feeling until I finally realized that he felt it too._

 _I didn't know I'd gotten too close until he told me so._

 _And from that point on, it was like the world had opened up. I'd never wanted anything like I'd wanted right then._

 _And doesn't that just make me the silliest person alive?_

 _To want something I've had all along._

* * *

THE END

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so this was my second first shot at Vikturi. I hope you all enjoyed this piece. Any and all feedback is most definitely appreciated and welcome! Reviews are the sparks that keep me burning. I've got a lot of bunnies running about for these two, and anybody looking to add to their population is encouraged to. I had forgotten how much I loved writing fanfiction until Viktor and Yuri got me started again.**

 **So yeah, I'm in a really good place right now. ^-^**

 **Thanks for reading . Until next time~ Dasvidaniya. **


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